The Pussy Centipede #52

The 52nd episode of The Pussy Centipede podcast has been released.  I had strep throat but luckily I was able to get my fiancee to record this episode for me.  Please check it out, I think she did a really good job, plus she wrote and original song just for this episode.

If you’re not listening to the show you’re really missing out!

On The Importance Of The Pussy Centipede

Chap, I do not care if you ever listen to The Pussy Centipede, or if you ever purchase one of my crappy kitty porno books.  But it occurred to me this morning that before The Pussy Centipede came along nobody had ever questioned the podcast as an art-form.  It seems as though most fellows were quite content to record interviews with famous mediocrities, speak about a film or book they enjoyed or hated, cry about some sort of political issue, or regurgitate spooky urban legends.

Nobody had ever though to play, to experiment, to use the podcasting form as if it were a box of crayons.  Nobody before I that is!

The importance of The Pussy Centipede is that podcasting has more possibilities, it has the ability to become something greater than what it has been.  Podcasting is a powerful creative tool, much like a crayon.  Nobody ever used a crayon to regurgitate tired Star Wars criticism or attack SJWs.  Or perhaps they have chap?

Regardless, to be a creator is noble, even if you fail.  To be a pop culture whore is not noble.  Do you want to use your imagination to cry about Star Wars or Star Trek or say “Every movie sucks!” or “Every movie is awesome!” or do you want to create something of your own, bring something into the universe that has never existed?

Granted, it’s easy to get people to care about your pop culture prostitution.  It’s easy to sell your imagination much like a whore’s pussy.  So if that’s what you want then go make another Star Wars review show or horror movie fan boy show, go make another true crime podcast and regurgitate stories that have already been regurgitated a million times over.  Sometimes it may be easier to bring absolutely nothing to the table.

Look at Ethan Van Sciver, he was once a great artist, but ask most people today and they only know about his Youtube videos where he cries about Star Wars movies and opines on Brie Larson’s face.

He has become nothing more than a prostitute, a pawn in the giant Disney machine.

Humans are born with a great gift, a gift that cats and puppies do not have, that gift is the imagination.  Why not use it? Why not choose to be a creator and not a regurgitator!

The Pussy Centipede will be going on a brief hiatus, the story of the puppy centipede and Bobby Trendy’s treachery has concluded.  You may hear the newest episode by clicking the photograph below!

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Check Out The Wet Clits Paperback!

I got my sample of The Wet Clits paperback today.  I designed it myself using Lulu.  DIY is always the way to go with books man!

I took some photographs of the book, which I think came out totally awesome.  Check out the photos and if you’re looking for a great gift this Christmas why don’t you buy somebody a copy of The Wet Clits?

You can find a link in the Pussy Tantrum menu, just click where it says The Wet Clits Paperback!!!

It’s one of the best novels ever written!

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Check out Brittany Chipette posing with the book.  Doesn’t she look hot?  She’s the inspiration for The Wet Clits and pretty much everything I do.  She’s my muse bruh!

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The Fault In Our Meows

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The Fault In Our Meows is a book I wrote about a kitty who becomes suicidal after his owner commits suicide.

Overall this is a pretty suicidal book.  If you’re interested in purchasing a copy just find my books link in the Pussy Tantrum menu.

You could tell Rose Byrne was sad but she didn’t want to cry in front of all these guys, but she made the grumpiest face ever.

Then Rose Byrne was in a room with all these guys with shiny buttons on their shirts, and they had guns and one guy was like, “Sorry Mr. Rose Byrne but catching these criminals is totally impossible, it was too random.”

But Rose Byrne was like, “I want justice!  You cops suck!  I should totally clean up this city myself.”

“You can’t buy guns in this city Rose Byrne,” the cop said, and he had a mustache and was like, “Be a good Rose Byrne and go home.  Find a new wife.  You can’t just go around totally getting revenge.  It’s not like you have a death wish or something.”

“Humph!” Rose Byrne said, “Maybe I do have a death wish.  I used to be a totally liberal accountant and think that criminals needed fair trials, but my family’s murder changed me.  Now I totally need to get revenge so I can feel happy again.”

Then in another scene Rose Byrne was on vacation in Texas for some reason, and this guy in a cowboy hat was like, “Y’all are cool Rose Byrne.  Here’s a gun I got y’all as a gift.”

Then the guy gave Rose Byrne the giantest gun ever.  And then the rest of the movie Rose Byrne walked around New York shooting bad people with her gun, and her face looked totally happy, and even her sad Rose Byrne eyes looked happy, and she made a finger-gun with her hand and pointed it out the screen at us, like me and the bird were bad guys she was gonna shoot, then it was the end…

On the way out of the theater Kittles heard the fat guy complaining to the girl in the ticket booth.

Excerpt From The Wet Clits

It can be hard to get people to take an interest in your books when you’re an underground, self-published author from the streets.

Not everybody has a big machine behind them pushing their work to the masses.

I published my first novel The Wet Clits a few months ago and have struggled to get people to read it.  I thought I’d post this excerpt here to show how silly it is, to show that it’s something you should be reading:

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“How’s that?” Doctor of Bunnies said.

“You said you’d make a million billion noise complaints,” Clitney laughed.

“Hey! Don’t laugh at me,” Doctor of Bunnies said, “to be honest I was too busy tending to my bunny patients to make a billion million phone calls, but rest assured, seven thousand noise complaints are sufficient to ruin you in this town. Mwah ha ha!”

“Arr!” Monster of Frankenstein, “no threaten my friend!”

Then Monster of Frankenstein threw Doctor of Bunnies down the driveway and ran to the pink house covered with bunny faces.

“I shall have you charged with assault, you green vagabond,” Doctor of Bunnies said as he brushed the dirt from his fur.

Monster of Frankenstein used his hands to smash through the walls of Doctor of Bunnies’ house. He systematically tore the house to pieces, leaving nothing but a pile of pink bunny-face rubble.

As Monster of Frankenstein sorted through the rubble he saw a box of VHS tapes.

“Hey,” Doctor of Bunnies said, “don’t touch those tapes!!!”

Clitney ran over to Monster of Frankenstein and looked at the tapes. They were labeled in pink marker Shy Little Kittens Volumes 1-69.

“Hey!” Clitney said, “this is kitty porn.”

“Please don’t tell on me,” Doctor of Bunnies said, as tears soaked his face fur.

But when the cops came to investigate the noise complaint Clitney and the Monster did tell on Doctor of Bunnies. In the future he went to trial in bunny court and the bunny judge sentenced Doctor of Bunnies to a billion million years in bunny prison.

If you enjoyed this excerpt just click the link in my menu that goes to my books for sale page and please buy a copy.

Support indie art!

Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story

Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story was an early short film by Todd Haynes that was released in 1987.

It told the story of legendary pop singer Karen Carpenter, using Barbie dolls and random documentary footage.  Because Mr. Haynes used songs by The Carpenters illegally, he was sued by Karen’s brother Michael Carpenter, and lost the ability to distribute the film in 1990.

Since then the film has been passed around through the underground and eventually made its way onto Youtube.

I started taking a screenwriting class recently, and decided on writing a screenplay about a cat who teams up with James Dean to fight a demon inside of a haunted house.  I originally thought I’d write something that I would try to sell, but realized that I wouldn’t be able to write the type of movie I’d want to see if I had to worry about selling it to a producer.

So once the script is done I am going to make my own film using dolls.  The film is going to be called Night Of The Fiends, and I think it’s going to be awesome.  It’s going to feature one of my original characters, a writer named Cuck Wendig who appears in my book Soy Wars.

Superstar: The Karen Carpenter story will be my inspiration!

 

Interview With A Giuseppe Andrews Fan

Writer/director Giuseppe Andrews is one of my favorite outsider artists.  If you’re not familiar with his work you’re really missing out.

Although Mr. Andrews went into hiding several years ago, he still inspires people all over the world.  I wrote my first novel The Wet Clits about him, and one of my favorite people on Twitter is a person who goes by the name fanofgiuseppeandrews(@giuseppeman271).

I decided to interview fanofgiuseppeandrews to try and gain some insight into how Giuseppe Andrews’ unique brand of outsider art has affected their life.

How were you first exposed to Giuseppe Andrews?

Detroit Rock City was the first time I seen him.

What are your three favorite films featuring him?

Detroit Rock City is one, and local boys and the look series.

Did you think he was hot in Cabin Fever?  If Deputy Winston was a real person would you want to date him?

Yes I thought he was hot in Cabin Fever.  Yes I would date him if he was a real person.

What is your opinion of the films Giuseppe writes and directs?

I love his movies he directed.

Has he inspired you to make your own art or films?

He inspired to try to do art but I would films.

Do you have any examples of art you’ve done that was inspired by him?  Can you share any with me?

I am sorry but I don’t have any drawings yet because I just started.

If you could meet Giuseppe Andrews what would you want to say to him?

I would probably faint and would have to change my underwear.

GiuseppeAndrewsFan has a great collection of photos of Mr. Andrews on their instagram page so just click on this sentence to follow them!

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Update:

A few days after I posted this fanofguiseppeandrews posted some of their drawings, so I thought I’d share them here:

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Hanoi Kitty Glitter: Podcast Propaganda

I was doing an interview with the Bizzong podcast tonight, and it reminded me of other podcast interviews I’d done, so I figured I’d make a post about them.

I also found this old tweet that the notorious Chuck Wendig made about me all the way back in 2012, and decided to share a screenshot I took of it.  I had to log out of my Twitter account to see it since he has me blocked.

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Having Chuck tweet about me reminded me of something Gwyneth Paltrow said in the 1999 film The Talented Mr. Ripley:

“The thing with Dickie… it’s like the sun shines on you, and it’s glorious. And then he forgets you and it’s very, very cold.”

That’s how I felt, Chuck Wendig shined the light on me for one brief moment, it was glorious, and ever since all I’ve felt was coldness.

And here are links to the podcasts I’ve been a guest on so far, the first is from Lost At Home and the second is from Mr. Deadman’s The Shitshow:

Lost At Home Podcast

Mr. Deadman’s The Shitshow