Have you heard my podcast yet? Episode one is the best place to star your The Pussy Centipede journey!
I asked him to draw me a picture of Katy Perry dressed in an Easter Bunny costume and being eaten by Crites from the Critters movies. I really think he did an awesome job!
I noticed today that a lot of sites like Screen Rant and Dread Central posted pictures of the concept art from Rob Zombie’s cancelled Blob remake. I always find it interesting with these news blogging media sites, or whatever it is they are, that all they do is regurgitate the same information and post the same pictures, and then act like they are doing journalism or writing.
It bothers me that people like this identify as writers or journalists when all they do is copy paste information from press releases, and download photos from someone’s social media or website.
I decided to do the same thing today in the hopes of driving traffic to my site. So here is some concept art from Rob Zombie’s cancelled Blob remake. Look, I just did journalism.
Christopher Zisi is a blogger I met on Twitter. I always enjoy reading his reviews of B movies, and we have pretty similar taste in movies. I thought it would be cool to interview him.
Your biography says you are a paranormal investigator. What sort of paranormal encounters have you had? Do you believe in demons?
In 2011 I became a certified paranormal investigator. This occurred four years before I retired from the FBI. The Bureau was always big on us agents seeking educational opportunities. Many of my fellow agents were earning PH.Ds, mostly on-line, and the government had a program in which they paid for it. Most of these Ph.Ds would be utilized after retirement as many agents have gone on to teach at universities. My partner was getting one such degree. He would try to complete it on-line but often ended up swearing at the computer. Finally he had enough and pulled out of the program.
I remember thinking that someone needed to step up. My partner had dropped out, but I intended to succeed. Now I had to figure out a course of study. He was attempting a Ph.D in something to do with adult education. Not for me…boring! I went on-line and found Flamel College in Sacramento. They offered certifications in a number of fields. I chose Paranormal Investigator, UFO Investigator, and Cryptozoology. The Bureau loved it…though they wouldn’t pay for it.
I passed with flying colors…yes, I had to take tests. I decided to do a comprehensive investigation of the FBI Academy in Quantico, Virginia…my workplace. Over the years accidental deaths and suicides had occurred. The results were mixed. Though the results of the investigations could have been interpreted in different ways, there was one investigation that sticks out. We had a mysterious fire in the classroom building. The exact cause is not known. I did several reading at the place the fire started and found some very exaggerated electrical readings. This was strange as there were no electrical sources nearby. No outlets, no coffee makers, no computers, no radios…nothing…just some electrical presence unexplained.
As far as demons…absolutely. If you ever have seen “The Conjuring” and its subsequent sequels, the Warrens give sage advice about demons…don’t engage…very dangerous.
What was the first horror movie you remember seeing? What is it about horror that makes you love it so much?
First Horror movie I remember seeing: Triple feature at the drive-in with my parents…I was six. “Count Yorga, Vampire,” then “The Abominable Dr. Phibes,” and finally “The She Beast.” Scared me silly. I was in a fetal position on the floor of the car. Took me years to ever watch another horror film, then it was “I Was a Teenage Werewolf.” That was about 1977 on Creature Feature on WLVI TV (Channel 56) in Boston. I loved it.
Why do I love horror so much? As a nerdy kid, and very insecure, I was awful at sports, music, and everything else. In horror, loners and nerds usually were treated well. They were the ones who first figured out there were monsters. The cool kids (especially in slasher films) would die horribly. Also, perhaps, outcasts could identify with some of the classic monsters,,,the Frankenstein monster, Creature from the Black Lagoon…Dracula…these things were sympathetic figures, especially for a boy who doesn’t fit in. Frankenstein and the creature desperately wanted to fit in and to find love.
I also believe the horror genre, especially the slasher sub-genre, is a perfect outlet for our ids. Freud would say that our subconscious needs an outlet…a part of our brains we keep hidden from everyone and sometimes even ourselves. This is the “id.” We’re nice decent people, but sometimes we want to strike out in anger or perhaps in a violent anti-social manner. We don’t, as our brains give us restraint. Immediate impulses are quelled as reason and sanity win out. Suppressing these subconscious desires can be unhealthy and we need a healthy way to release them. Horror films give us the opportunity. Sure, I may love gory and violent horror, but I’m also aware this provides an outlet. Many don’t have outlets…you meet them in the news reports of church deacons fooling around on their wives or respectable people snapping and committing horrendous acts of perversion and violence. Often these folks are the same ones railing against horror as a genre that will corrupt.
Who is your favorite horror host?
Favorite horror host: Three come right to mind…Elvira, she matched up fun and horror perfectly. Joe Bob Briggs…he said what a lot of us felt, we wanna see gore, skin, and kills. The third are the folks of MST3K, I still watch all the old episodes on YouTube. Silly and inane, and I dare say, sometimes I actually watch for the movies.
What was it like working for the FBI?
FBI Agent career: For the majority of my career I was assigned to the Baltimore Division of the FBI. There I mostly did drug and organized crime investigations. I was promoted to a Supervisory Special Agent and was transferred to Quantico. There I taught new agent trainees interviewing and interrogation. Then I was assigned to teach police from all around the world interrogation and detection of deception. I was sent to dozens of countries such as Cambodia, Vietnam, Poland, Guyana, Serbia…to name just a few.
What was the scariest thing that ever happened to you as an agent?
Oh gosh…scariest thing I ever done? That is a tough one. I had so much respect and trust with the people I worked with that I never felt in danger, though I was of course. Drug raids and arrests were inherently dangerous, but when doing them, I never felt the danger. I was in The Maldives and a tsunami was heading our way. I was ushered to the top floor of their tallest building. My wife, thousands of miles away was terrified…I thought it was so much fun. What a way to I thought. I’d be a legend…Special Agent Zisi, killed in a tsunami. I figured the FBI would at least name a hallway for me at Quantico. The time came…6:05 pm, and it was a dud…a six inch tsunami. Oh well.
What is your opinion of Katy Perry?
Katy Perry? She needs to develop a third chord, work on a bit more agility in her dance moves, and perhaps take more antihistamine.
What’s the best horror movie you’ve seen recently?
Best horror movie recently? By recently, I figure you mean a film that has come out recently. The best one is 2017’s DEATH HOUSE. Gory, ominous, and deep in theme with a hall of fame cast. Harrison Smith did a fine job and everyone is in it from Barbara Crampton, Kane Hodder, to Camiile Keaton.
What is your opinion of Death Proof?
Death Proof? I love it. Tarrantino and I have similar tastes, though he gets me on talent. I love 1970s drive-in/exploitation. In fact, I have a novel coming out in 2019 which is extreme exploitation (dare I say sexploitation?) It is soooo deviant, I may have to come up with a pen name.
My favorite movie ever is The Strangers Prey At Night.
The other day I found some dolls at The Goodwill, and I thought I could use them to make a doll of Dollface from The Strangers Prey At Night.
A couple of weeks after I found the dolls I found a Monster High accessory kit that included a doll mask that looks a lot like Dollface’s mask.
I still need to get clothes that are more like the ones Dollface wears, but I think my Dollface doll is coming along pretty well so far!
Comment below and let me know what you think!
The other day I was hanging out with my wife’s boyfriend and he wanted to watch a horror movie. He ended up picking this movie called Rideshare that’s streaming for free on Amazon Prime and I figured I’d write a review of it.
I’m not a huge fan of Amazon Prime ever since Amazon banned me from publishing my books on their Kindle platform, but whatever, it’s still one of the better options for watching streaming horror movies and it has a better selection than Netflix and Hulu.
Rideshare was written and directed by Tremain Hayhoe, which is a crazy name. It looks like Rideshare was his first feature film as a director.
Rideshare tells the story of a driver for a company called Hitch, which is basically like a movie version of Lyft or Uber. The driver is named Jason and he’s a fat psycho who uses poisoned water bottles to dispatch random passengers.
Jason is portrayed by Bradley Laborman and is a totally awesome character! Bradley’s performance is excellent, especially his comedic timing. This movie had me laughing more than most comedies do, especially an excellent rape joke that Jason tells early in the film.
The tone and plot of this movie, and especially the main character, all give me the same feeling I’m used to getting from reading a Richard Laymon novel. Just creepy as fuck, and totally unpredictable.
One of the scenes that creeped me out the most was when Jason delivered a veggie burger to this douchebag girl and he put drugs in her burger. I’ve always been paranoid about having someone tamper with my food so that scene really got to me.
Another thing I liked about this movie was the twist towards the end of the movie where you find out Jason isn’t the only serial killer working that night. I loved Curtis McGann’s portrayal of the other killer, although I wish he could have had a bigger role. I would have liked to have seen a more drawn out serial killer face off, but I understand that would have made this a totally different sort of movie, and it’s something we’ve already seen before like in that episode of Masters Of Horror called Pick Me Up.
I think that if Tremain Hayhoe could get the rights to adapt a Richard Laymon novel into film that he’d be the perfect writer/director to do it. I think it’s something he should really look into.
Rideshare is one of the better horror movies I’ve seen in a while. My wife’s boyfriend also really enjoyed it, especially the scene where this bitchy blonde girl berates Jason for having a hula girl glued to his dashboard. That scene was based on a real life incident that happened to a Lyft driver, which you can watch in the video posted below:
In conclusion, the word on the streets is that Tremain Hayhoe is a director to watch for, and if you miss out on Rideshare you’re only fucking yourself!
The opening pages from a yellowed copy of my book Where The Cunt Blood Enters The Heart. This book has not been in print since the late 1960’s but you can get a digital copy by clicking here!
Where The Cunt Blood Enters The Heart tells the story of a shark, kitty, and bunny who are forced to team up to destroy a murderous Eagle. The book also features a performance by Poppy!
It’s not easy to get people to buy and read weird books like the ones I write, but you really have nothing to lose, if you hate the book you can always get a refund!
Jill Banner was an actress who starred in Spider Baby, she was a good actress and played this girl who thought she was a spider. People said she was pretty weird in real life and that her character in Spider Baby wasn’t totally just acting.
Jill Banner was actually a spidery person.
She was really hot too and dated Marlon Brando for a while until she died in a bad car accident.
Even though she wasn’t in a lot of movies I will always consider Jill Banner to be both my favorite actress ever, and the best actress ever. I believe that this statement is true because Spider Baby is widely considered to be the best movie ever, one time I watched it three times in a single week.
Jill Banner’s performance in Spider Baby was very influential on me. It made me want to be a spider.
In 1982 Jill Banner’s Toyota was hit by a truck on the Ventura Freeway, and she died. I would have liked to have known Jill Banner, but I was only two years old when she died.
My favorite movie ever is The Strangers Prey At Night. I could watch it a million times and never get sick of it.
It would be my dream to write the next film in The Strangers franchise and have it be about The Strangers going after kitties.
If you click the picture above it will take you to a link for my petition on Change.org to help get me hired to write this film!