Pussy High: The Journey Begins

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Today I wrote the first draft of the first episode of Pussy High.  I am not very experience with writing scripts or making films.  It’s going to take a lot of work to get this first episode done.  But I have the dolls, I have the camera, and I have the toy high school ready!

I’ve decided that for the time being my Kitty Glitter persona is dead. I wrote one new story under that name recently, it was called Strung Out On Cum.  I wrote it with the intention of submitting it to a zine called Underbelly.  They ended up rejecting it.  I may submit it somewhere else, I think it’s a pretty cool story.

I achieved a lot under the Kitty Glitter name.  I wrote Wesley Crusher: Teenage Fuck Machine, the most legendary Star Trek fan fiction ever.  I also destroyed Chuck Wendig and made him cry by writing  Soy Wars: The Soylence Of The Lambs.

Kitty Glitter has done enough.  It’s time to move on.

Since I’ve been doing The Pussy Centipede podcast under the name name Pussy Tantrum I decided that my creator name for Pussy High will be Cum Carmichael.

Cum Carmichael’s Pussy High!

Get ready fuckface!

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Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story

Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story was an early short film by Todd Haynes that was released in 1987.

It told the story of legendary pop singer Karen Carpenter, using Barbie dolls and random documentary footage.  Because Mr. Haynes used songs by The Carpenters illegally, he was sued by Karen’s brother Michael Carpenter, and lost the ability to distribute the film in 1990.

Since then the film has been passed around through the underground and eventually made its way onto Youtube.

I started taking a screenwriting class recently, and decided on writing a screenplay about a cat who teams up with James Dean to fight a demon inside of a haunted house.  I originally thought I’d write something that I would try to sell, but realized that I wouldn’t be able to write the type of movie I’d want to see if I had to worry about selling it to a producer.

So once the script is done I am going to make my own film using dolls.  The film is going to be called Night Of The Fiends, and I think it’s going to be awesome.  It’s going to feature one of my original characters, a writer named Cuck Wendig who appears in my book Soy Wars.

Superstar: The Karen Carpenter story will be my inspiration!

 

My Screenwriting Journey #2: Patterns, Goals, and Obstacles

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For the second lesson in my screenwriting class we learned about what makes a story.  The reading dealt with patterns, the heroic journey, character goals, and the obstacles characters face.

The focus of the lesson seems to be this idea:

A story follows a character as he or she tries to overcome obstacles in order to achieve a goal.

One of the exercises was to put your iPod on shuffle and form a story from the first ten song titles that pop up.  This was mine:

Sad 2

I’ll Be Faithful To You

Fall Behind Me

I’ll Fly Away

Denis

Sweetie

This Old House

The Money Will Roll Right In

One Of Us

Sharks Can’t Sleep

This is the story I came up with based on these titles:

Two sad pilots both believe they are being cheated on by their wives and have fallen behind in their mortgage payments.  A french criminal named Denis offers them money to fly him under the ocean with an experimental submarine plane in order to steal a treasure from an old undersea house that is guarded by a gang of sharks.  A shark named Sweetie eats Denis and the plane.  One of the pilots decides to stay behind and fight the sharks, sacrificing himself and distracting the sharks long enough to give the other pilot a chance to escape to the surface with the treasure.

The other assignment was to come up with a character and show what their goal, obstacles, and stakes were.  So this is what I came up with:

It’s 1950’s Hollywood and a feral cat must overcome her fear of humans so she can get help rescuing her kitten from a group of Satan worshippers.

This idea evolved from my original idea to write a movie about James Dean having to spend the night in a demon haunted house.  I decided to make the main character be a feral cat, and the cat will have to enlist the aid of James Dean to save her kitten from the Satan worshippers and also fight a demon.  I’m sure this idea will continue to change as I progress through the course.

My Screenwriting Journey #1: The Beginning

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I started taking this cheap online screenwriting class.  I watch a lot of movies so I figured it would be cool to try writing one of my own.

For the first assignment we had to write a one sentence concept for a movie, so this is mine:

It’s 1954 in Hollywood and James Dean must overcome his fear of the supernatural so that he can spend the night in a demon haunted house to win the respect of Marlon Brando.

I plan to call this movie Night Of The Fiends.  My actual idea, beyond this one sentence concept, is a lot more bizarre and it involves kitties, but I couldn’t really work that into the simple one sentence concept restriction.

So I hope you will join me on my screenwriting journey and see where it goes!

Rideshare Movie Review

The other day I was hanging out with my wife’s boyfriend and he wanted to watch a horror movie.  He ended up picking this movie called Rideshare that’s streaming for free on Amazon Prime and I figured I’d write a review of it.

I’m not a huge fan of Amazon Prime ever since Amazon banned me from publishing my books on their Kindle platform, but whatever, it’s still one of the better options for watching streaming horror movies and it has a better selection than Netflix and Hulu.

Rideshare was written and directed by Tremain Hayhoe, which is a crazy name.  It looks like Rideshare was his first feature film as a director.

Rideshare tells the story of a driver for a company called Hitch, which is basically like a movie version of Lyft or Uber.  The driver is named Jason and he’s a fat psycho who uses poisoned water bottles to dispatch random passengers.

Jason is portrayed by Bradley Laborman and is a totally awesome character! Bradley’s performance is excellent, especially his comedic timing.  This movie had me laughing more than most comedies do, especially an excellent rape joke that Jason tells early in the film.

The tone and plot of this movie, and especially the main character, all give me the same feeling I’m used to getting from reading a Richard Laymon novel.  Just creepy as fuck, and totally unpredictable.

One of the scenes that creeped me out the most was when Jason delivered a veggie burger to this douchebag girl and he put drugs in her burger.  I’ve always been paranoid about having someone tamper with my food so that scene really got to me.

Another thing I liked about this movie was the twist towards the end of the movie where you find out Jason isn’t the only serial killer working that night.  I loved Curtis McGann’s portrayal of the other killer, although I wish he could have had a bigger role. I would have liked to have seen a more drawn out serial killer face off, but I understand that would have made this a totally different sort of movie, and it’s something we’ve already seen before like in that episode of Masters Of Horror called Pick Me Up.

I think that if Tremain Hayhoe could get the rights to adapt a Richard Laymon novel into film that he’d be the perfect writer/director to do it.  I think it’s something he should really look into.

Rideshare is one of the better horror movies I’ve seen in a while.  My wife’s boyfriend also really enjoyed it, especially the scene where this bitchy blonde girl berates Jason for having a hula girl glued to his dashboard.  That scene was based on a real life incident that happened to a Lyft driver, which you can watch in the video posted below:

In conclusion, the word on the streets is that Tremain Hayhoe is a director to watch for, and if you miss out on Rideshare you’re only fucking yourself!

Interview With A Giuseppe Andrews Fan

Writer/director Giuseppe Andrews is one of my favorite outsider artists.  If you’re not familiar with his work you’re really missing out.

Although Mr. Andrews went into hiding several years ago, he still inspires people all over the world.  I wrote my first novel The Wet Clits about him, and one of my favorite people on Twitter is a person who goes by the name fanofgiuseppeandrews(@giuseppeman271).

I decided to interview fanofgiuseppeandrews to try and gain some insight into how Giuseppe Andrews’ unique brand of outsider art has affected their life.

How were you first exposed to Giuseppe Andrews?

Detroit Rock City was the first time I seen him.

What are your three favorite films featuring him?

Detroit Rock City is one, and local boys and the look series.

Did you think he was hot in Cabin Fever?  If Deputy Winston was a real person would you want to date him?

Yes I thought he was hot in Cabin Fever.  Yes I would date him if he was a real person.

What is your opinion of the films Giuseppe writes and directs?

I love his movies he directed.

Has he inspired you to make your own art or films?

He inspired to try to do art but I would films.

Do you have any examples of art you’ve done that was inspired by him?  Can you share any with me?

I am sorry but I don’t have any drawings yet because I just started.

If you could meet Giuseppe Andrews what would you want to say to him?

I would probably faint and would have to change my underwear.

GiuseppeAndrewsFan has a great collection of photos of Mr. Andrews on their instagram page so just click on this sentence to follow them!

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Update:

A few days after I posted this fanofguiseppeandrews posted some of their drawings, so I thought I’d share them here:

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